Man With Big Bulge Busted at Border With Endangered Birds in His Pants

U.S. Attorney's Office, Southern District of California

I peck your pardon?! A man is staring down 20 years in the slammer after a suspiciously huge bulge in his pants -- which he claimed was his mighty man-meat -- turned out to be ... TWO. ACTUAL. BIRDS. Yes, this is real life!

Jesse Agus Martinez , 35, got stopped by CBP at the Mexico-U.S. border on October 23 after guards clocked a very questionable bulge in his trousers ... and when they checked it out, they found two little brown bags stuffed in his underwear -- each holding a rare orange-fronted parakeet. U.S. Attorney's Office, Southern District of California

The parakeets -- which are critically endangered , according to the International Union for the Conservation of Nature -- were breathing but heavily sedated, acc