S omewhere between the Dal Chawal minimalism of arranged marriage and the self-destructive maximalism of dating apps lies the modern Indian relationship. An ungainly creature, equal parts ambition, inertia, and risk management.

It is one of the more touching delusions of our Gen Z cohort that relationships are supposed to be fulfilling. Not merely adequate. Not efficient. Fulfilling. We want one partner who acts as a friend, lover, financial advisor, fitness coach, sous chef, unlicensed therapist, and, when required, a shoulder to cry on during layoffs.

This expectation isn’t entirely ahistorical. Our grandparents’ marriages weren’t always the stoic, transactional arrangements we imagine. Many found deep companionship, even tenderness, within their constraints. The difference is that th

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