KANSAS CITY, MO — In a pop romance earthquake, Taylor Swift dumped Kansas City Chiefs star Travis Kelce for new beau Holden Armenta, better known as "Face Paint Boy".

Swift fans across the country immediately burned their newly-purchased Travis Kelce jerseys in ceremonial bonfires, then set about painting their faces and acquiring Native American headdresses. "I'm just so, so happy for Taylor," said longtime fan Audrey Langston. "The way she looks into his little black and red face, you can just see it was meant to be. We are all Taylor Swift in search of our own face paint boy."

Sources report Travis Kelce was completely blindsided by the breakup, his NFL status simply no match for the shooting star that is "Face Paint Boy". Swift will reportedly release an album entitled "Chief of Hear

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