In the light of recent political developments, you are required to refocus your hatred on benefit claimants

DEAR angry patriots. We regret that certain unhelpful government polices mean that your rage and loathing must be recalibrated toward a new sector of society.

I know. It seems only a short time since you were required to transfer your enmity from the EU to asylum seekers. And this isn’t because you didn’t do a fantastic job, because you did. Millions of people in this country now believe it is the only electoral issue.

But Labour, regrettably, have taken action on immigration. Harsh, inhumane and unnecessarily cruel action just as we favoured. So, while we promise never to lose focus on that menace, a new figure of hatred is required. Or should I say an old one?

Because today’s budget, which shall surely be Labour’s last, lifts the two-child cap on child benefit. Which means it’s time t