Here’s What Dying in a Primordial Black Hole Would Actually Look Like

Nothing makes me happier than when brilliant, highly educated people waste their intelligence trying to figure out answers to stupid hypothetical questions.

For instance, if you ever wondered what would happen if a primordial black hole slammed into your body, never fear. Vanderbilt University physicist Robert Scherrer recently published a study attempting to answer that exact question that no one asked.

First off, primordial black holes only exist theoretically. So right off the bat, this is like trying to figure out how badly you would be mangled if you were bitten by Barney the Dinosaur. They are theoretical ancient relics possibly born within the first second after the Big Bang. Their masses range from a teeny tiny little speck to as dense as several suns crammed into a shot glass.