Miss Manners: Oh, we also have to pick up the dinner check after driving 3,300 miles to get here?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband of four years has two adult, financially stable sons. One is married with two children; the other is single. We drive 3,300 miles round trip twice a year for the children’s birthdays.

If we have dinner at the home of one of my stepsons, we contribute food. If we go out to dinner, we always pay. Not once has either of the sons offered to pay for anything.

I have never mentioned this to my husband, but it annoys me greatly. I see it as being extremely selfish, ungrateful and inconsiderate. In contrast, when we visit my family, they will often pick up the check. I realize that criticizing someone’s children can be a minefield, so what should I do?

GENTLE READER: That’s not “someone”; that’s your husband.

Miss Manners says this not because it reminds her of Gr