SACRAMENTO, CA - In what is being called a freak catastrophe, the worship team at Journey Life Church was tragically sliced into pieces Sunday morning, as the church's laser lights had been mistakenly programmed to a deadly level of intensity. Early reports indicate there were no survivors from among the popular thirteen-piece pop-rock/synth ensemble.

A horrified techie recounted the hours leading up to the tragedy to local news reporters on the scene. "We - we usually don't turn them up past the 'stun' setting, but pastor was starting a new series called 'Extreme Faith,' so we figured out a way to rig the controllers to produce eight times the usual intensity."

"By the time we realized what was happening, the bassist looked like shredded cheese, and the three guitarists weren't even rec

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