Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. Submit questions here. (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Prudence,

It’s been seven years since we were with my family on Christmas Day. Two of those years we were hunkered down at home with a newborn/about to give birth. The other five years we have spent with my husband’s family. My father-in-law has been terminally ill for 12 years, and it’s a miracle that he has lived this long. We’ve truly thought that every year has been his last Christmas, but this year, I really think it’s his last. We will celebrate with them this year, which I am, of course, happy to do.

Given that next year, though, circumstances will most likely be different, I am wondering about how to get us into a rhythm of trading off visits to our families every other year. My sist

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