Sahaj Kaur Kohli is off this week. The following first appeared Dec. 15, 2022.

Hi Sahaj: I’m not going home for the holidays, and I’m not sure how much of the truth to tell my extended family. I know that in theory simply saying I have other plans should work, but my family struggles with enmeshment. The truth is, I have a boundary that I won’t be alone with one of my family members, and not being there is the best way to uphold that. I’m not sure what story this family member has created in my absence, and I don’t want to share the full story to anybody anyway. How do I navigate conversations about declining holiday invitations without airing out drama and reliving traumas?

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