The world of popular psychological ideas, which is largely the self-help industry, is not short of contradictions. For instance, it simultaneously promotes the benefits of emotional intelligence (the ability to empathize with others and engage in strategic impression management) and authenticity (the tendency to express what you really feel and think without much consideration for others’ opinions). It also frequently celebrates self-acceptance and constant self-improvement (“love yourself as you are”… but also “become the best version of yourself”), mindfulness and relentless ambition (“stay in the zone, present and serene”… while hustling aggressively toward big goals), and even self-awareness and self-belief, which pull in opposite psychological directions. Self-awareness requires confr

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