DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am the “last hostess standing” in my family and an associated circle of older friends. Everyone else has a reason why folks cannot gather at their house.

I welcome their offers to “bring something” because I cannot manage holiday meals and birthday celebrations without help. I’ve gotten quite good at suggesting what to bring.

I have one relative who insists on doing preparation in my kitchen immediately before the meal instead of bringing a completed dish. I swear, if I asked her to bring salt, she would need 3 feet of counter space and 30 minutes to assemble an heirloom salt grinder first. She’d also need two people to assist, and she’d complain I don’t have salt spoons.

Is it OK to ask her to do the dishes instead?

GENTLE READER: Not really. But how about drinks?

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