Key points

Choosing to be kind can transform an entire day.

The depth of grief can be the benchmark for the capacity to give.

Love is what gives life value.

Last week I went to get blood drawn. The phlebotomist was a gruff, edgy, fiftysomething woman, whom I consciously chose to warmly engage in conversation. She lived more than an hour away in the poorest county in our state. She'd moved back a year earlier, having left her marriage and gone to her daughter and granddaughter in another state. Then a natural disaster destroyed everything she owned. Then her dog died. Then her granddaughter was taken by her father.

By now, the vials of blood had been drawn, and she'd put a band-aid in the crook of my elbow. It was time to leave. I stood up and asked her if she wanted a hug, and we wr

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