Key points

A breakup, even one that you want, is hard in many ways.

Transition can feel disorienting, like a loss of a sense of self or identity.

Even after the change has happened, you may still feel disoriented.

Sofia* had been thrilled when Julian, her boyfriend of three years, suggested they live together and then get married. But nothing had gone right from the minute she moved into his apartment. He had not cleared out any space for her things, so for weeks they fought over where she was going to put her clothes and books. When he finally agreed that she could bring her dresser from her former home, they argued further about where to put it so that it wouldn’t disrupt the flow of the room.

Sofia loved to cook, but Julian criticized her for not cleaning up quickly enough, althoug

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