Key points

Your needs are information about what would help you show up in a way that is good for you at gatherings.

Vague boundaries like "We'll try to stop by" confuse everyone; "We'll be there from 2 to 4 p.m." is clear.

Guilt about prioritizing your needs doesn't mean their disappointment is your responsibility to fix.

In the first post , we looked at why setting boundaries with family triggers such intense guilt , and what healthy boundaries actually look like. You learned that your tight throat and clenched stomach when thinking about saying no came from years of learning that keeping the peace mattered more than speaking your truth.

Now comes the practical part: How do you actually set these boundaries?

1. Get Clear on What You Need

Before you can set a boundary, you ne

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