NURN, MORDOR — Political commentator Tucker Carlson has reportedly purchased a piece of property in the land of Mordor, where the shadows lie. This will be Carlson's fourth house and his first next to a slave camp.

"I like it here. A lot. Yeah, I like it. It's the perfect location, obviously. By the way, I'm an American. I can go wherever I want and speak to anyone I want to because I'm a free man, actually." Carlson said of his decision. "Nurn is a beautiful region. It's very fertile, and I've got a great view of the lake. People were telling me, 'Oh, you can't go to Mordor, the Orcs are there, and the whole land is covered in ash,' but it's a lie. They don't want us to talk about how great Mordor is. But I won't be silenced."

According to sources, Carlson's new property is a 4,058-squa

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