Raising kids is hard. Even for experienced parents, every day brings new challenges. How can anyone do it perfectly?

The Babylon Bee conducted a comprehensive survey to come up with the following list of tips on how to be a perfect parent:

When they say they're hungry, pretend you think they're telling you their name: For dads only.

Introduce them to the Beastie Boys: You want them to appreciate high culture.

Do the opposite of what your parents did with you: That usually works like a charm.

Don't — UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES — allow your babies to sleep on their stomachs: Or their backs. Or their sides. The doctor has been clear about this.

Vicariously try to live your pro sports dreams through them: Kids really appreciate that.

Outsource all training and education to YouTube and

See Full Page