LEAMINGTON, ON

Mennonites across southern Ontario have gathered in Leamington this week for the annual MB-GC Chili Cook-Off. Returning to the competition is last year’s champion Mrs. Lehman of St. Jacob’s whose extra-bland zero-pepper chili delighted the judges.

“She’s a miracle worker with a bottle of ketchup and a can of tomatoes,” said head judge Mr. Fehr. “I mean, when you can make a chili as unspicy as Mrs. Lehman’s, it’s really difficult for the others to compete. How can you make it any blander?”

Mennonites have a notoriously low tolerance for spicy food, and the judges are always looking for a nice simple chili that consists entirely of unseasoned ground beef and a few kidney beans.

“Spicy food unnecessarily riles up the senses and gets people thinking unwholesome thoughts,” sa

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