NEW YORK, NY — In a shocking development in the case of a killer charged with murdering a health insurance executive, a New York judge found that Luigi Mangione was too stunningly handsome and gorgeous to stand trial.

Though the prosecution had reportedly built a strong case with substantial evidence against him, Mangione was deemed, upon examination, to be far too good-looking to be tried for the murder.

"Have you seen him?" said Judge Maureen Donaldson in her ruling. "My goodness. In all my years on the bench, I have never run across a case that is so startlingly violent and brutal and carried out by such a hunky piece of Italian beef. It is the opinion of this court that Mr. Magione be released from custody on the grounds of his hotness."

Though the judge's ruling was met with imme

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