High German Mennonite Clings Desperately to False Sense of Superiority Over Low German Mennonite

BLUMENBACH, SK

Thanks to a complete accident of birth, Miss Annie B. Epp of Blumenbach was born to a High German speaking family. For some reason, Epp, a sad and delusional woman, believes that this linguistic accident was a “sign from above” of her superority to the Plautdietsch-speaking residents of the area.

“The pecking order among Mennonites goes High German, then English, then Plautdietsch, then all the other worldly languages,” said Epp. “That’s the way it is and always will be.”

Wrapping her entire self-worth in her linguistic identity, lonely friendless Miss Epp claimed that she was so much more sophisticated and superior to all the Low German speakers of Blumenbach.

“I mean, come on! If you say ‘ ‘ instead of ‘ ‘ or ‘ ‘ instead of ‘ ‘ you just aren’t that with it,” said Epp,