Mennonite Man Thinks His Specific Brand of Mennonites is Representative of All Mennonites

SCHANZENKLEEGRUENSTEIN, MB

Area man Abe Friesen is under the impression that the specific type of Mennonites that he is familiar with, those who speak Low German, wear suspenders, forbid dancing and drinking, and complain about the old country are representative of the entire global Mennonite community.

“To be more accurate, I’m not even aware there is a global Mennonite community,” said Friesen. “We’ve got about a half dozen surnames and if you’re not on the list, well, it’s a little suspicious to me.”

Even within the Russian Mennonite micro-culture, Friesen believes that the specific customs of his particular church are more widespread than they actually are.

“As Mennonites, we baptize by pouring, play knipsbrat on Sunday afternoons, and don’t believe in eternal security,” said Fries