Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My sister “Sheryl” is in a polyamorous relationship with three men. She has two kids who are 2 and 4, and they all live together as a family unit. Our parents have never accepted Sheryl’s arrangement with “her guys”, and refuse to refer to them as her family (they use a derogatory term instead). I’ve tried to stay out of the conflict, but now with the holidays coming up, I’m being forced to take sides.

My husband and I have just moved into our first house, and we will be hosting Christmas for our families for the first time and are excited. The trouble is that my parents have made it clear that if I invite my sister and her family, they will not be

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