Key points

We often suffer more from the stories we tell ourselves than from events themselves.

Trying to “fix” discomfort can intensify it and keep us stuck in unhelpful patterns.

Noticing and questioning limiting beliefs opens the possibility of freedom and change.

I discovered my first Great Lie in third grade. We took 100-question timed math quizzes on Fridays, and I was determined to win the much-coveted prize: a trip to the front of the room to pick a round pin for your backpack (or, if you were a nerd like me, your shirt).

One Friday, I was on question 99 when Ms. Foley rang the bell. “Time’s up!” I felt it in my stomach. I knew it in my heart. I shouldn’t do it—but I did it anyway. I filled in question 100. And I got them all right.

Ms. Foley was also the religion teacher at

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