YOUR mother would like to know what you want to have a row about this Christmas so she can plan accordingly.

With Christmas just weeks away, your organised mum needs to find out if you are planning to get annoyed at your dad’s political views over dinner, or if you are more in the mood for getting pissed off with probing questions about your personal life.

Your mum said: “You threw a childish tantrum over what we got you for your big present last year, remember? The shirt and tie set? So I’m guessing you don’t want to do that again so soon.

“Unresolved traumas are always popular. Would you like me to dredge up some repressed memories I can drop into conversation at the worst possible moment? Coming last at sports day maybe? I’d be happy to do that if you give me some notice.

“Arguments

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