SACRAMENTO, CA — In an effort to simultaneously deal with the state's residents attempting to stage a mass exodus and capitalize on the popularity of fun group party activities, California unveiled a massive new escape room called "California."

While the Golden State took on an unofficial role of an escape room nearly a decade ago as progressive policies raised prices and pushed hard-working Americans to seek out greener pastures in Idaho, Texas, and Oklahoma, the state's leaders came up with the brilliant plan to generate much-needed revenue by monetizing everyone's desire to flee.

"You like escape rooms? How about an escape STATE?" said Governor Gavin Newsom at a press conference announcing the initiative. "Everyone has been swept up in the fun and excitement of the escape room craze,

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