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From investigating school board parents to raiding Mar-a-Lago, the FBI is on a rampage! Who will they raid next? It could be you!

To help you protect yourself, The Babylon Bee has consulted law enforcement experts to learn the top 10 signs the FBI is about to kick your door down:

A windowless van labeled "Fiber Board Installers" has been parked outside your house all week: And there's a satellite dish on the roof. Weird.

The bush in your front yard is a foot closer to the house every time you look at it: You could've sworn it was by the road when you planted it. Are those eyes?!

You were dumb enough to engage in drug and sex trafficking without being Biden's son: Classic rookie mistake!

Your DoorDash delivery guy is showered and clean-shaven: He'

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