If there’s one tradition that holds the holidays together better than duct tape, denial, and the vague hope that your in-laws will cancel, it’s the annual viewing of Christmas movies. We all have our favorites. Some of you are It’s a Wonderful Life purists. Some of you prefer the chaotic energy of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation . And some of you, presumably those who enjoy emotional devastation and awkward family dynamics, watch The Family Stone . (You people scare me.)

But across almost all these films, there’s a common thread: The Villain. The greedy, heartless, money-grubbing boss who hates Christmas, hates joy, and apparently hates the concept of thermostats set above 62 degrees.

We have Ebenezer Scrooge, the gold standard of miserliness and questionable nightgown choice

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