My dad died unexpectedly. It taught me that I needed to plan for my funeral ahead of time.

• My dad died unexpectedly of a heart attack. • We didn't know what arrangements to make after his passing because we hadn't talked about it. • I didn't want the same experience for my son, so I'm planning while I'm healthy.

Sitting across from the funeral director, I held my husband's hand. I needed to feel something real while my body moved between sadness and shock. I glanced at my mom to steady her and at my husband for support. There was one person noticeably missing from our group: my dad.

The day before, I wouldn't have guessed I'd be spending my afternoon at a funeral home. I had talked to my dad that night and made plans for our weekly dinner. When I hung up the phone, I had no clue that was the last time I'd speak to him. There was no inner hunch that doom was on the horizo