• Over the last 20 years, I've learned I can't have a one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. • Fair parenting means responding to individual differences, not treating every child the same way. • Recognizing and honoring each child's temperament helps them thrive and feel supported.

For years, the soundtrack of my household has included some version of: "But why doesn't she have to do that?" or "You never punish him!" Every time I heard it, I'd get that familiar pang of mother guilt.

Had I gotten lazy? Did I care less about what one did over the other? Was I a terrible parent for being too strict with one and not strict enough with another? Did I, in fact, have a favorite child?

Now, nearly 21 years and three kids into motherhood, I finally understand that while yes, I was slightly

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