Nothing said after five drinks counts, scientists agree

INSULTS, flirtations and generally talking bollocks are all null and void after a fifth drink has been consumed, scientists have confirmed.

Due to the high level of alcohol in a person’s system at around five drinks, scientists feel it is important to disregard everything they say and not remember it or hold it against them at a later date.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Remember that time your emotionally distant dad said he loved you? That was five drinks talking. You never did get that puppy, did you?

“After a person consumes their fifth drink they pass what toxicologists call the ‘Bullshit Threshold’. Even a small amount of alcohol puts you over the limit for driving, so a dozen or so units means you can’t be trusted to ‘steer’ your brain and tongue. Th