FEELING you’re missing out on unacceptable jokes now that MasterChef has been sanitised? Here’s where to get your fix of problematic banter.

Visit a building site

Society has progressed in lots of ways in recent years, but building sites are still bastions of controversial wisecracks. The men who work here are skilled artisans when it comes to jokes about women, sexual orientation and race. Within minutes you’ll hear something that’s too sexist and disgusting to have occurred to you before, and if you’re a lady you may even be invited to interact with these wags who could easily earn a living as stand-up comedians.

Phone your dad

He may not be able to cook anything more demanding than a piece of toast, but your dad is on a par with Gregg Wallace and John Torode when it comes to makin

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