Marriage advice: I came home early from work. What I learned about my husband shattered everything.

How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here . It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I came home from work unexpectedly after my office had to be evacuated due to a small fire, only to find my husband in bed with another man. Now he says he wants an open marriage and that nothing needs to change, so we can continue parenting our two kids, ages five and 18 months, as before.

When I asked him how long he’s been doing this sort of thing, he admitted that it began about a month after we got married. He said he thought he was “over” these feelings and that getting married would put a stop to them, but it didn’t. I feel betrayed. At least if my husband had come out and said he was gay, I could have dealt with that, and we could h