NEW YORK — Executives at top corporate media properties Fox News and CNN promised that all of their journalists will remain safe from targeted assassinations by the IDF by continuing to not report any of the news coming out of Palestine, sources confirmed.

“Fox News has proudly kept its journalism ‘America First’ for the last two decades. We don’t care what is happening in the rest of the world, our reporters are on the ground here in America finding proof that Obama is a Kenyan nationalist who colluded with Russia to discredit President Trump’s win in 2016,” said Fox News Media spokesperson Erol Hanley. “The American people don’t need to know about what Israel is up to. Our viewers are more interested in how President Trump is doing a perfect job, and if anything bad happens, it’s becaus

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