HOUSTON — Local woman Charlotte Kissinger is reportedly only dating boyfriend Matt Bower for the truest contents of his character, sources speculated.

“I can’t help but worry Matt is being used,” said Bower’s childhood best friend Jack Bucknell. “Charlotte loves him and all, but sometimes it seems like she’s only dating him for his wit, wisdom, goodness of heart, and quality of mind. Like she has some sort of kindness fetish. You know, Matt also has abs and money. He’s pretty good at tennis. He had on some pretty cool slides yesterday, and it was like she didn’t even notice.”

Bower’s father reported concerns for his son’s stability in the relationship.

“Sure, Charlotte loves him now, but what happens when a man gets a little older?” said Henry Bower. “I’ve seen it happen before. How do

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