U.S. — The upcoming Secretary of Health and Human Services has reportedly ballooned to a horrific 350 lbs after a single bite of McDonald's. Sources confirm Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. was bullied into taking a bite of the unhealthy food for a photo op aboard Trump Force One.
"I'm hideous!" RFK Jr. allegedly cried after he immediately swelled to a horrifyingly unnatural size. He tried to get up and hide himself but he was trapped in his airplane seat by thick folds of fat. "Look at me! I'm a monster! What have I done?"
RFK Jr. has since blamed the presence of Polysorbate 80 in the McDonald's Quarter Pounder for altering his body's DNA.
Sources say the incoming HHS secretary had initially attempted to resist eating the Quarter Pounder offered to him on Trump's plane, but was pressured by the