ZURICH, SWITZERLAND

In the Mennonite world, absolutely everyone knows the name of George Blaurock, the first person to get rebaptized way back in 1525. We all sat around our television sets as he ventured into that cave near Zurich and took a dousing of water from his pal Conrad.

“This is one small baptism for Menno,” said Blaurock. “One giant leap for Mennokind.”

And that was that. We all turned off our TVs and switched to the Smothers Brothers or whatever.

However, the story didn’t end there, because right after becoming the first Anabaptist, Blaurock turned around and baptized all the others who were present. Since the cameras were no longer rolling, there is some debate about who was second. Was it Grebel? Was it Felix Manz? It could have been anybody, really.

“The point is,” says

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