TORONTO, ON

Toronto City Council held an emergency meeting this past week after a large ‘Centre of Canada’ sign was erected on the highway near the small town of Landmark, Manitoba.

“What on earth is this?” asked mayor John Tory to a group of bewildered councillors. “This can’t be for real, is it? The last time I checked the centre of Canada was somewhere on Yonge Street, and certainly no further west than Bay Street!”

The news caused great concern for council members, who worried the city would be sent into a panic if this information was leaked to the public.

“If this gets out, it will be absolute chaos on the streets,” said Tory. “I might have to call in the military to make sure law and order is maintained.”

Soon after the meeting, a rival councillor, seeking to discredit the mayo

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