Key points

Immutable custody plans don't serve the best interests of growing, changing children.

To spare them from emotional turmoil, children are excluded from major decisions about their own lives.

Instead, children should have a safe space to speak for themselves, and we should honor their wishes.

The resulting plans should be revisited every two years, with child input, to adapt to their changing needs.

In divorced families, whose needs count for more: those of parents or those of children?

When parents divorce, their child custody plans are supposed to place the “best interests of the child” first. We know children’s needs change as they grow. Unfortunately, the way we develop and maintain custody schedules ignores that, and often makes children feel helpless by denying them

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