If Thomas Müller's offensive output on the soccer pitch can rival the charm offensive on display at his first Vancouver Whitecaps' news conference, the German legend will be worth every penny of the millions the team is shelling out to sign him.

Appearing happy and relaxed in downtown Vancouver the morning after his arrival at YVR, the 35-year-old played for laughs from the podium, fully at ease speaking both English and German.

He joked about learning to say "soccer" instead of "football," took a question from the German caterer working the event, did goat impersonations into the microphone and boasted that the hard artificial turf at B.C. Place Stadium — considered by some players to be career-shortening — is no match for his ageless athlete's body.

How Thomas Müller could give the Va

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