ASUNCION, PARAGUAY

A group of guys from the Fernheim Colony, Paraguay took on the Canadian men’s national soccer team in Asuncion this past week and came away with a resounding five to nil victory. The Fernheim Team has now moved ahead of Canada on the FIFA rankings.

“I’ve been playin’ football aver since Knels Toews taught us how to kick balls around in the Sunday school,” said team spokesperson Arturo Klassen. “We used to play the Neuland Colony, but that was naver much of a challenge either.”

Despite stopping on numerous occasions for some yerba tea, Klassen scored three goals in the match, thoroughly embarrassing the Canadian team.

“Oba, those Canadians can’t play soccer for sure not,” said Klassen. “Those Canadians should stick to the ice hockey.”

The entire Fernheim team wore su

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