'Builder's tea' is annoying people's top drink

SO-CALLED builder’s tea is the refreshment of choice among people who are irritating, it has emerged.

Research by the Institute for Studies found that 83 per cent of annoying individuals enjoyed ‘builder’s tea’, which is indistinguishable from tea.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “It’s normal tea with an ironic veneer for Guardian readers who want to sound like they’re ‘close to the masses’.

“Requesting ‘builder’s tea’ also highlights a nauseating level of self-awareness, letting other nearby ponces know that you are clever and don’t normally stoop to unhealthy things like milk and sugar.

“We interviewed a number of builders and not one of them was aware that such a thing as builder’s tea existed. Again, they just call it tea. Because that’s what it f**king is. Tea.”

Architect Tom Loga