The preseason is here! We get to watch certified Football-Like Substance! After a full offseason of hot takes based mostly on speculation, we now get to base our hot takes on the smallest of sample sizes against unrepresentative competition. What could go wrong?

In addition to overanalyzing player performances based on 10-12 plays, we get to overanalyze what's going to happen based on hazy camp reports and purposely opaque coaches' statements. It's the perfect system!

Never fear, intrepid fantasy drafter. I'm here to cut through some of the noise to determine if there's any signal there. For the next couple of weeks, I'll dive into some of the NFL's more intriguing headlines and let you know how seriously you should take them.

Remember, everything you read here will be static and will i

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