Mathew Gray Gubler was on Criminal Minds for an eternity, and is also a best-selling children’s book author and appears to be playing Einstein’s great-grandson in a forthcoming TV procedural. That is what I know about him and I got it all from Wikipedia — oh, well, that, and he’s an artist, which is relevant because it is ENTIRELY possible he painted his shoes himself. Get ready:

These are, to me, even more unsettling than the gold Schiaparelli shoes because the perspective is so off. His (painted) left foot looks like a shrunken artifact with, potentially, some toenail gangrene. It actually vaguely reminds me of the infamous Demon Birkin . Applause for the creativity — this is more effort than I expended in 8th grade when we would all draw on our white Keds, to our parents’ horror — bu

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