LAFAYETTE, LA — Local man Alan Tucker patiently waited for his entire family to fall asleep so he could hide in the office to listen to Taylor Swift's newest album Midnights .

"I've been waiting on this moment for MONTHS," said Mr. Tucker as he tiptoed down the stairs. "Got to be incredibly cautious though. If my wife caught me doing this, well the mockery would be unceasing for the next thirty years. Same goes for my daughter, that no-good excuse for a Swiftie!"

A long-time Taylor Swift aficionado, Mr. Tucker's fandom has steadily been driven underground as he's aged. "Sixteen years ago when T-Swift hit the scene, I was twenty-two years old and could cry teardrops on my guitar in peace," said Mr. Tucker. "By the time Red came out, my wife would no longer accompany me to the concerts

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