WORLD - Upon observing recent events such as President Trump's crass name-calling on Twitter, violent groups like Antifa and white supremacists clashing across the country, and other general silliness, the Lord Almighty announced Wednesday He is planning a "full reboot" of the world's timeline.

The timeline will be rebooted in a "major crossover event," according to heavenly representatives. They've nicknamed the upcoming cataclysmic refresh as "Crisis on Earth One."

"God's totally sovereign and can do whatever He wants, obviously," said one rep. "So He's thinking He'll just turn the whole thing off and turn it back on again, you know - start from scratch."

On the chopping block for the Earth reboot are various failed human experiments, such as communism, democracy, and the Pontiac Azte

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