TEMPTED to make your shagging record sound a bit more impressive? Here are some entirely made-up conquests you can probably get away with.

Hot woman at your hotel on holiday you never spoke to

She was German or maybe Swedish, you didn’t pay that much attention because you were too busy having sex during this whirlwind holiday romance to bother with small talk. This woman did exist on an actual holiday you went on, it’s just that your relationship was limited to occasionally seeing her in the hotel foyer. Her name? Er… Helga. Let’s hope your mates don’t remember the character from ‘Allo ‘Allo! .

Girl from the sixth-form there is a 0.000001% chance of your friends knowing

You’ve known your current group of friends for ages, but not long enough for them to be familiar with your sixt

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