MACON, Ga. — Panic-stricken and barely coherent GWAR roadie Miles Giodarno was spotted dashing through the streets of Macon, desperately trying to secure a whopping 236 gallons of alien cum just hours before the band’s show, confirmed sources.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, fuck,” exclaimed Giodarno through the mostly empty streets of the sleepy, southern town. “The band goes on in two hours, and they just now realized that they must have hit a bump somewhere in North Carolina, leaking ET jizz all over I-95. Now I’m stuck hitting up every big box store in the area, because apparently you can’t play live music without showering your audience in alien cum. And yes, I know it’s not really extraterrestrial semen. But that doesn’t help me to find 236 gallons of toaster strudel glaze and green

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