In light of the January 6th hearings, we felt it was prudent to provide a detailed timeline of that fateful day to refresh your memory. We put our best historians and hackers on the project so we could bring you the most accurate and classified details yet.

Here is the official timeline of those terrifying events on January 6, 2021:

6:03 AM - President Trump wakes up at his regular time and crushes his usual 45-minute HIIT workout.

6:30 AM - VP Mike Pence wakes up grumpy with a serious case of "the Wednesdays."

6:50 AM - President and First Lady enjoy breakfast of Sausage Egg McMuffins with ketchup.

7:00 AM - Mike Pence does his daily Bible reading in Habakkuk. Repents of his earlier grumpiness.

8:06 AM - Trump tweets, "Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd has never eaten at Arby's! Sad!"

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