GRYTVIKEN, ANTARCTICA

After running out of room and finding sin all over the Americas, thousands of Mennonites are now seriously considering relocating to the last un-inhabited place on earth: Antarctica.

“The Devil found us in Prussia, Russia, Paraguay and Mexico,” said Mennonite elder Hans Reimer. “We have no other choice but to flee for Antarctica.”

Some members of Elder Reimer’s congregation have expressed concerns about the sinful lifestyles of neighbouring penguins, though Reimer was quick to dismiss such worries.

“Sure some of those penguins copulate outside the bonds of holy matrimony,” said Reimer, “but they’re polite, they dress nice and they also make for some darn good eating.”

Elder Reimer plans to recruit Mennonites from Canada, USA, and the Paraguayan Chaco to start the

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