ETOBICOKE, ON

With barbecue joints defying health orders and hundreds of partiers caught not social distancing in a storage locker, the community of Etobicoke, Ontario is eagerly seeking to dethrone Steinbach, Manitoba as the “Covid Capital of Canada.”

“Look out, Steinbach! Here we come!” said long-time Etobicoke resident Darryl. “We’re finally going to put Etobicoke on the map … and I don’t just mean as the place you pass through on your way to YYZ.”

Darryl and his fellow Covid enthusiasts have been inspired by Steinbach, but have their own Covid-spreading strategy tailor-made for Etobicoke.

“The out-of-town cult and chiropractor thing might work in southern Manitoba,” said Darryl, “but around here it takes pulled pork and strobe lights to spread the disease.”

Darryl is hoping that b

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