OAKLAND, CA

Spurred on by all the positive feedback from the game in Winnipeg last week, the National Football League formally announced today that they would be using a much shorter and “thriftier” field for the upcoming season.

“After our overwhelmingly successful experiment up in Alberta or wherever last week, we decided to make it official,” said league commissioner Roger Goodell. “80 yards is here to stay. It’s much cheaper and most of our players can’t count to 100 anyway.”

Goodell says the shorter field will save the league millions as players salaries will be reduced accordingly, since they obviously do not have to run as far. The NFL is also planning to make the fields a bit narrower to allow fans to get closer to the action.

“We want to win over Canadian fans, so we’re planni

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